Quiet Day and memory medications

My mom was pretty laid back today.  It's dinner time and she ate her dinner in her pajamas.  I was able to I get out to the gym thanks to my son who stopped by.  Working out and getting out help me release some stress that I put on myself. I have decided that we (her and I) go to the Senior Center for game night each week.  I read on someone else's blog that if the senior rejects the Senior Center to keep taking her.  My hope is that she will eventually grow to like the center, especially game night.  She enjoys cards, the pool table and even ping pong.  Eventually I hope I can just drop her off and feel comfortable that she actually stays there.  The doctor says she needs people, she needs to engage with other people other than always her family.

One of my biggest stress has been her finances.  The doctor told me today that she shouldn't have the card.  She is a shopaholic. Seriously so that she pays no attention to her account and the fact we need her income is order for me to stay home with her.  She also will leave the house by herself to go buy something and end up getting lost.  Seriously she has been brought home by the police, the fire department or security officers several times.  I am fortunate that I don't have to worry about night wandering from home at this time. However if we are on vacation somewhere and her little dog is with us, she will sneak out with the dog and get lost.  In the middle of the night she will be rescued by security guards, God bless them.  Also I have learned that an average citizen doesn't hesistate to assist a confused elderly woman.  We are greatful to them and need to come up with a plan the next time we decide to get away with her.  Some sort clever lock and only my husband and I know the combination.

To medicate or not to medicate.
I fully beleieve that aricept and nanmeda have slowed down the decline of her memory.  Some days she surprises me.  She still remembers her family's names, however her judgement for her safety and well being is very limited.  It's tricky and I hate the responsiblity of having to make these decisions.  Guilt or feeling I am not doing enough is always on my mind.  I need to be mindful of isolating myself.  I started this log to share my experience of a famiy member caring for his or her parent.  I hope you find me, I know you are out there.  Not all seniors are in the mid stages of Alzheimer, some are in the early stages and some are in late stages.  I can't do this alone, I need family support and of course my community.  It's time for mom and I to step out and meet the people in our community.  Make a connection with others, Senior Center here we come. 

Once a profession land development coordinator now a caregiver

Sometimes life surprises us and we end up not getting what we want for work, for love, for recreation.  Sometimes we settle, I have settled.  I am not sad about it, I just put my head down and forge ahead. I take care of my family and home.  I am also the caregiver for my mother who has been disagnosed with Alzhemiers.  She is strong willed, and educated but can no longer drive, pay her bills, feed herself (keep food in the house), and medicate herself.  

I have become a mother to my mother.  After raising (3) kids, I am now on duty 24/7 for her.

The most difficult part is that she still beleives that she can take care of herself.  However she has proven over and over that she can not.  She has no friends; her life was my father and her sisters who live 3 and a half hours away. She totally isolated herself after my father died 11 years ago.  She doesn't want to go to the Senior Center. When I do manage to get her there she doesn't share in conversations, I end up being the one talking with the other seniors.

So how do you entertain someone who just wants to go shopping (her favorite hobby) and is unrealistic as to what we can afford.  How do you explain to someone that you now keep her credit card so she won't run from home to spend money and get lost?  She is not frail, she walks her dog around the neighborhood everyday.  She returns home because she has no money.  Now she is angry with me and calls me rude names and claims all I want is her money.  She becomes beyond reason, she can not reason. She is a unique individual, she was beautiful comparable to Natalie Wood, she always got what she wanted and now she doesn't.  Indeed a challenge, can I really do this I ask myself everyday.